The snooze button problem

Who invented the snooze button? Whoever they are, I'm sure they thought they were doing mankind a service. They weren't. Why couldn't they leave well enough alone?! They're like Will Smith in I Am Legend, thinking he's doing something great by creating a vaccine for cancer, but really just turning everyone into zombies. Thanks for nothing!

You see, I have a snooze button problem. Sometime I'll hit it once and then get up, but I'm more likely to hit it six or seven times. I've been known to hit that snooze button for two hours straight. Yes, this is a pretty annoying character flaw, but that's beside the point. The larger flaw lies in the design of the snooze button itself. There are no consequences. You can snooze away and the worst side-effect is the sense of self-loathing you feel when you finally do get up, hours after the time you set your alarm for. I'm calling for a redesign of the snooze button, effective immediately, a "consequence."

My first idea was that electrodes of some sort should be involved--a"tase awake" feature that would shock you after two hits of the snooze button. But upon reflection, I realized that having electricity surge through my body wouldn't necessarily make me want to jump into the shower.

Here are some other ideas, feel free to add your own:

• The old-fashioned: after two snooze attempts, a bucket of ice water stored in a refrigerated unit above the bed is activated and poured onto the snooze abuser.
• The suspended bed of nails: a bed of nails is hung over your bed. You do not know when the nails will drop down on you and skewer you, it could occur on the 2nd snooze or the 10th. That's a motivator!
• The sex machine: an autonomous sex machine is activated after a couple of attempts. It's only objective is to penetrate one of your orifices. Don't think that this isn't realistic--the Japanese have robot technology for all kinds of fucked up shit.

I do think the option that the cheapest and easiest option is to find a significant other who will punch you repeatedly after they keep getting woken up by your snooze alarm.