I don't think that book means what you think it means

There was a preacher on the train this morning who kept talking about The Bible, and how everyone needs to read The Bible, but her subway sermon was mysteriously lacking any direct quotes from the book. Not even a John 3:16. Next, she started talking about vampires and sucking blood, and then how some people are special and have supernatural powers inside of them that the forces of evil want to take for their own use. And, of course, how Jesus is always watching you, even when you're sleeping, and knows that you are special and different from everyone else. I found myself thinking, "This sounds familiar, but I haven't read The Bible lately..."

Methinks a certain crazy train preacher was reading some Stephanie Meyers before bed last night.