It's a hard time to be a romantic

It's a hard time to be a romantic. I've been feeling this way for a while, like at every turn there is something to remind me that it's naive to really believe in love. I'm not the only one; even my hairdresser brought it up! Why is the consensus "shit happens" when people hurt each other? Or that you should expect people you love to fuck you over?

I know I'm taking events that have nothing to do with me a bit too personally, but it feels personal. Like the little girl who used to sit and write stories about people who fell in love and lived normally ever after, no expectations of perfections even, and who actually believed in those stories, is getting beat down more and more with reality.

I'm sticking to my guns, though."I want to believe," X-Files style. I just wish more people felt the same way!

Weird dreams

I've been having some weird dreams the past two weeks. The ones that take the cake:

3.) After watching The Wire, I had a dream that McNulty stole a Blow Pop (from Charm!) outof my purse and proceeded to eat it in front of me. Jerk.

2.) Took place in Jersey City. The whole dream was weird, but the strangest was when a (real life)  friend's boyfriend randomly showed up and took me to some box cars that were near train tracks (the location was real). He opened the door and revealed a bunch of black people he had killed and put in the box car. Then, smiling, he explained that he had received orders to do it, but he wouldn't do that to us. When I lookaround I realize that there are 3 dudes who look like they stepped out of the movie Cadillac records standing next to me. They give a "WEll, that's strange" look to each other and start walkign off.

3.) Threesome. with. Bill. Murray. I don't even have sex dreams that much. Fucking weird.

One thing that these dreams make clear is that I absorb way too much when I watch movies.

My BlackBerry, My Protector

I can be a bit impulsive. This is not a trait that goes over well in the digital age, especially when it involves social media and blogging. Sometimes I get worked up and decide I want to vent my feelings on my blog or write something particularly not nice on Facebook. Every time I try to do this using my mini-computer, aka my BlackBerry, it somehow malfunctions before I manage to post anything vitriolic for the world to see. Smart phone, indeed.

Not nice

I know it's not nice to wish bad things on people, but sometimes you can't help it.

Let me get into 90s comedian mode here: What is up with women who apply their make-up on the subway? I don't mean lip gloss, I mean the women who are putting on foundation, eye shadow, eye liner, mascara, lip liner, and lipstick during rush hour. Why not wake upa bit early and do it at home? And why does it always take these people 10 motherfucking minutes to apply some mascara?! This should take 45 seconds, maybe two minutes what with all the bouncing (which you wouldn't have to deal with if you were on solid ground in your won damn bathroom).

But my original point. When these people are mascara-ing away in the middle of a crowded train, am I the only one who kinda hopes they poke themselves in the eye?