Methinks a certain crazy train preacher was reading some Stephanie Meyers before bed last night.
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
I don't think that book means what you think it means
There was a preacher on the train this morning who kept talking about The Bible, and how everyone needs to read The Bible, but her subway sermon was mysteriously lacking any direct quotes from the book. Not even a John 3:16. Next, she started talking about vampires and sucking blood, and then how some people are special and have supernatural powers inside of them that the forces of evil want to take for their own use. And, of course, how Jesus is always watching you, even when you're sleeping, and knows that you are special and different from everyone else. I found myself thinking, "This sounds familiar, but I haven't read The Bible lately..."
Methinks a certain crazy train preacher was reading some Stephanie Meyers before bed last night.
Methinks a certain crazy train preacher was reading some Stephanie Meyers before bed last night.
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Baltimore jones, I got a Baltimore jones, I got a Baltimore jones oh baby wooo-oo-oo
Sorry, this song just got stuck in my head.
Anyway, last weekend I road tripped it down to Baltimore (as navigator extraordinaire) with Randy to check out his friend's thesis presentation, hang with people, and just get out of godforsaken NYC. We got a room at a hotel that was pretty cheap, so I was expecting it to be run down, but it was actually very nice and right in the downtown area. We could see the top of the huge cathedral from our window, and we were right around the corner from the Washington monument (not that one). The area is really cute, it kind of reminds me of the South Street Seaport area here in NYC. His friend's thesis exhibition was pretty cool and extremely well done, even if you didn't have any knowledge of graphic design. Friday night was fun overall, although a tad too much alcohol was involved. Thus, there's a part of the night I wish I could forget, and a part I wish I could remember (namely, when and where I took out my nuva ring...tmi? I just hope I didn't throw it in someone's drink.).
Saturday was fun, too. It was snowing when we woke up, big wet flakes that looked pretty but hurt when they hit you in the face. After brunch at a super cute restaurant (that was in the same part of town where I saw someone arguing with her father/lover last time I was there), we headed to the 'burbs for some down time with another friend, plus his girlfriend, dog, and other people who hang out at his house. We spent the entire time talking, laughing, listening to music, and eating (beer in the rear chicken!). It was a really nice change of pace frommy usual weekend. Sunday, after a homemade frittata breakfast and me cementing my membership to the exclusive Clean Plate Club, we headed back to the city to check out the Baltimore Museum of Art, which was free and not crowded. They had a great Matisse exhibit, as well as an exhibit featuring works inspired by the writing of Edgar Allen Poe. We made our way through some of the contemporary art portion of the museum, but the museum is huge and we were too hungry to go on. We went to the very nice restaurant inside the museum for some crab cakes. One crab cake is filling!
I was kind of sad by the end of the trip. I really liked it in Baltimore. It was clean, not overcrowded, trendy, culturally diverse, and most of all, AFFORDABLE. I was sad thinking of going to my apartment where I pay a lot of money live with a stranger across the street from the projects. I was sad this morning when I woke up at 4 am not because my neighbor was blasting his metal music, but because I am used to being woken up at 4 am by my neighbor blasting metal music. I was sad when I started to get panic attacky on the crowded subway, something that used to happen every day but only happens every so often. I guess I'm sad because I'm kind of over New York. I mean, I love it here, and chances are I'll never leave. I used to state emphatically that NYC was home and living anywhere else (in the US) was just not gonna happen. But now I'm starting to see that there are other places where I wouldn't mind living at all, and actually might prefer. I know, I know, it's common for people to get that feeling when they go on vacation. I just don't remember getting the feeling so often.
Anyway, last weekend I road tripped it down to Baltimore (as navigator extraordinaire) with Randy to check out his friend's thesis presentation, hang with people, and just get out of godforsaken NYC. We got a room at a hotel that was pretty cheap, so I was expecting it to be run down, but it was actually very nice and right in the downtown area. We could see the top of the huge cathedral from our window, and we were right around the corner from the Washington monument (not that one). The area is really cute, it kind of reminds me of the South Street Seaport area here in NYC. His friend's thesis exhibition was pretty cool and extremely well done, even if you didn't have any knowledge of graphic design. Friday night was fun overall, although a tad too much alcohol was involved. Thus, there's a part of the night I wish I could forget, and a part I wish I could remember (namely, when and where I took out my nuva ring...tmi? I just hope I didn't throw it in someone's drink.).
Saturday was fun, too. It was snowing when we woke up, big wet flakes that looked pretty but hurt when they hit you in the face. After brunch at a super cute restaurant (that was in the same part of town where I saw someone arguing with her father/lover last time I was there), we headed to the 'burbs for some down time with another friend, plus his girlfriend, dog, and other people who hang out at his house. We spent the entire time talking, laughing, listening to music, and eating (beer in the rear chicken!). It was a really nice change of pace frommy usual weekend. Sunday, after a homemade frittata breakfast and me cementing my membership to the exclusive Clean Plate Club, we headed back to the city to check out the Baltimore Museum of Art, which was free and not crowded. They had a great Matisse exhibit, as well as an exhibit featuring works inspired by the writing of Edgar Allen Poe. We made our way through some of the contemporary art portion of the museum, but the museum is huge and we were too hungry to go on. We went to the very nice restaurant inside the museum for some crab cakes. One crab cake is filling!
I was kind of sad by the end of the trip. I really liked it in Baltimore. It was clean, not overcrowded, trendy, culturally diverse, and most of all, AFFORDABLE. I was sad thinking of going to my apartment where I pay a lot of money live with a stranger across the street from the projects. I was sad this morning when I woke up at 4 am not because my neighbor was blasting his metal music, but because I am used to being woken up at 4 am by my neighbor blasting metal music. I was sad when I started to get panic attacky on the crowded subway, something that used to happen every day but only happens every so often. I guess I'm sad because I'm kind of over New York. I mean, I love it here, and chances are I'll never leave. I used to state emphatically that NYC was home and living anywhere else (in the US) was just not gonna happen. But now I'm starting to see that there are other places where I wouldn't mind living at all, and actually might prefer. I know, I know, it's common for people to get that feeling when they go on vacation. I just don't remember getting the feeling so often.
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
The snooze button problem
Who invented the snooze button? Whoever they are, I'm sure they thought they were doing mankind a service. They weren't. Why couldn't they leave well enough alone?! They're like Will Smith in I Am Legend, thinking he's doing something great by creating a vaccine for cancer, but really just turning everyone into zombies. Thanks for nothing!
You see, I have a snooze button problem. Sometime I'll hit it once and then get up, but I'm more likely to hit it six or seven times. I've been known to hit that snooze button for two hours straight. Yes, this is a pretty annoying character flaw, but that's beside the point. The larger flaw lies in the design of the snooze button itself. There are no consequences. You can snooze away and the worst side-effect is the sense of self-loathing you feel when you finally do get up, hours after the time you set your alarm for. I'm calling for a redesign of the snooze button, effective immediately, a "consequence."
My first idea was that electrodes of some sort should be involved--a"tase awake" feature that would shock you after two hits of the snooze button. But upon reflection, I realized that having electricity surge through my body wouldn't necessarily make me want to jump into the shower.
Here are some other ideas, feel free to add your own:
You see, I have a snooze button problem. Sometime I'll hit it once and then get up, but I'm more likely to hit it six or seven times. I've been known to hit that snooze button for two hours straight. Yes, this is a pretty annoying character flaw, but that's beside the point. The larger flaw lies in the design of the snooze button itself. There are no consequences. You can snooze away and the worst side-effect is the sense of self-loathing you feel when you finally do get up, hours after the time you set your alarm for. I'm calling for a redesign of the snooze button, effective immediately, a "consequence."
My first idea was that electrodes of some sort should be involved--a"tase awake" feature that would shock you after two hits of the snooze button. But upon reflection, I realized that having electricity surge through my body wouldn't necessarily make me want to jump into the shower.
Here are some other ideas, feel free to add your own:
- The old-fashioned: after two snooze attempts, a bucket of ice water stored in a refrigerated unit above the bed is activated and poured onto the snooze abuser.
- The suspended bed of nails: a bed of nails is hung over your bed. You do not know when the nails will drop down on you and skewer you, it could occur on the 2nd snooze or the 10th. That's a motivator!
- The sex machine: an autonomous sex machine is activated after a couple of attempts. It's only objective is to penetrate one of your orifices. Don't think that this isn't realistic--the Japanese have robot technology for all kinds of fucked up shit.
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
While you were sleeping (I was not)
Got hit with a bout of insomnia last night. It's fine, because when I wasn't trying to get to sleep I managed to read a pretty awesome YA book (The Splendor Falls) in it's entirety. It was somewhat reminiscent of Twilight, but there were no vampires or werewolves involved. Just a girl deciding two hot boys, a journey of self-discovery, ghosts, and a little magic. I'd definitely recommend it to anyone who got tired of Bella being such a damned weakling (I say this with love).
It's kind of sad that lately I feel like adult romance fiction has been less exciting than stuff for teens. I haven't been reading as much romance as I used to, but everything I've browsed from the best seller lists seems to be just blatantly bad or rehashing the same old tired tropes without any originality. I guess I should stop complaining and finish writing my romance novel so people can have something good to read/hideous and unoriginal to complain about.
It's kind of sad that lately I feel like adult romance fiction has been less exciting than stuff for teens. I haven't been reading as much romance as I used to, but everything I've browsed from the best seller lists seems to be just blatantly bad or rehashing the same old tired tropes without any originality. I guess I should stop complaining and finish writing my romance novel so people can have something good to read/hideous and unoriginal to complain about.
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